Let me be clear - I think both sides have their issues. I think modern feminists often don’t focus their priorities correctly and I think a lot of anti-feminist pages tend to get too far into the abortion/pro-life side of things and both sides are definitely guilty of cherry picking.
But at the same time…I can’t not call myself a feminist, because I at least believe strongly in the original principle, even if it has been distorted in the public view. Distortion isn’t a reason to abandon it, in my eyes. If anything, it means trying harder to put the correct path back in focus. And part of that correct path is this - real feminism means supporting and empowering women to come to their own decisions and opinions. Even if those opinions reject yours.
When people look at anti-feminist women and try to demean them, belittle them, claim they don’t get it (while offering no clearer explanation and ignoring why they feel the way they do), and basically dismiss them, they’re basically violating one of the earliest feminist beliefs - the concept that women are capable and should be encouraged to think for themselves and formulate their own viewpoints. This wasn’t just without the help of a man - this was on an individual basis. This was one of the principles set forth during the days of suffrage. That we’ve gotten this far and suddenly seem to be forcing women to believe a certain way, often under the guise of “well look what feminism got for you” ironically enough, is nothing short of despicable. The minute you start telling a woman what to think, what to say, or what to support, or convincing her that she HAS to think that way, then that’s when you stop supporting women.
To anti-feminists - whether I agree with your or not isn’t important here. I disagree with a lot of people. All the time. But you should be free to say what you want and voice your opinion without shame. That, in the end, is what I want more than anything. Even if it is something I disagree with to my core, you should have every right to say it without being talked down too or told you’re brainwashed.
Remember, feminists and anti-feminists both makes signs which are personal to them. Here’s mine - feminists should support all women, even if you don’t always agree with their opinions.
You cannot fight anti-feminists by “including” them. Feminism has combated all previous major threats by spawning off an offshoot of feminism which includes that new party, such as trans-gender or sex positive or atheist. This has had the effect of making feminist “bullet proof” (in the same way smoke is bullet proof) by allowing ALL feminists to distance themselves from any other feminist when confronted with an argument against feminist. It has also completely fragmented the feminist community which is why there is no SO MUCH infighting.
The anti-feminist movement, which has been around as long as feminism, is picking up a LOT more steam these days, and it is NOT something you can just incorporate as usual. THis is because anti-fems dont just simply some other minor points that differ from yours, they arent asking for an ideological shift. They believe you have poisoned society, that your ideology is fundamentally flawed, and intentionally leveraged by greed, sexism, and political agenda. They believe feminism is not in small error, it is degrading and detrimental to both men AND WOMEN. They are not interested in a token faction accommodation for them, they are diametrically opposed to you and wish for your movement (but no, not you or your gender) to stop existing. They are fighting for the end of all feminism, every form and faction, and believer that it is both noble and necessary to remove feminism, de-program feminists, and disassemble the political and financial structures and changes put in place by feminism. They believe that ALL feminism, and thus you personally, is based on bigotry. They, literally and completely, see you as a sexist bigot, not different than a nazi.
There is no common ground based solely on vaginal ownership. Suggesting as much is sexist and offensive in its own right. There is no compromise, there is no way to cut their movement off at the knees by assimilating them. If you are a feminist, an anti-feminist is your enemy. If you are a feminist, an anti-feminist sees you as either stupid enough to get “duped”, greedy and dishonest enough to push an ideology you disagree with for your own gain, or a morally repugnant bigot.